Today I fell in love...

Bits and pieces always makes a big whole. That's what I think. Like small pieces of puzzle forming a full picture. Like butter, eggs and flour into a freshly baked cake. All coming together and filling the pockets of your senses.

So tonight, I decide to write a note on how I fell in love with the smallest things in my daily life that I too often take for granted and realising that those little things are the very essence that fits into my life and here's why. 

Today I fell in love with mornings and breakfast. I am no morning person, waking up is almost a chore. But the last two days, I've woken up feeling fine and heading out for breakfast. Ok going to breakfast venue isn't so near, about a10-15 minute taxi ride. Like today, I got there with an old friend and sat there drinking coffee, finishing up my eggs, potatoes and sausages and drinking coffee and mango juice. My friend sat there eating a muffin, drinking coffee and smoking a cigarette. We talked and we discussed and we laughed and smiled about good days. Nothing, not even the haboob, was going to mess with it. I fell in love with this morning specifically. That was just the start.

Then off to the next stop for brunch. Downtown to a place called Babacosta. Sitting outdoors with a nice friendly crew, all unique and funny. Cold lemon mint juice coupled with pizza slices and chicken pitta and laughter is what a good brunch is all about. Oh yeah plus some Arabic rap and hip hop and two funny things - smearing your hair with Pepsi makes it shiny and gel-like (I did ask if it works with Diet Pepsi too) and counting sugar particles when you're bored will be a new trend. So yes, again I fell in love with the beauty of brunch with friends.

When you have two other ladies to spend time with primping and pruning your nails and toes, then you're in luck. Like me. A happy lady (and gentleman) would find real joy and satisfaction in having your nails and feet done. Particularly in the company of two lovely friends. In anticipation of my upcoming European summer vacation, I picked the brightest pink. The finishing touch was a flower henna on my both palms.The icing on the cake is three girls waiting for their henna to dry and trying to dig in their bags for a cigarette - with much effort and spastic finger movements, we managed and sat in the backyard having a puff. Add a dash of gossip and giggly talk and you're set for a good feeling evening. That said, I fell in love with my nails and the simplicity of pampering oneself in the midst of madness of everyday life (the company of cool folks also added extra flavouring).

Then what did we do? Off to the Goethe Institute to catch an exposition. Out in the open air, drums beating, funny jokes and me being me in my freshly painted nails topped with my bright pink flower on my top makes a big difference to an otherwise regular evening. My own favourite line was "Sweety, do I look stress to you with this pink nails and flower?" Met familiar faces and new ones and dishing out "I Heart Kadugli" stickers with a proud smile left me with a satisfying evening. I spoke of where I've been with a tinge of sadness but also pride in what it has given me as person and of hopes to return someday soon. It's no more a secret that  I love Kadugli (and I've got the stash, if you know what I mean).

To top the evening, after a simple, funny ride home was the man I am in love with. Every evening or night, we skype ourselves silly. Some days aren't always easy but most days are filled with silly liners and discussing the distances of the sun and the black hole or the milky way or recalling the days when we stumbled home in Istanbul or sharing music. I shared Margaret Whiting last night. It's a good feeling to go to bed with these thoughts in your head and heart. I admit love isn't easy, and so is living apart. But one needs to decide to be in it and do your utmost to make it work - simple. And so I decide today that's what it is and that's what it'll be. Relationships are hard work but I want it today and tomorrow and many more days to come. So tonight as I close this down and finished my drink, I say I once again fell in love with this man just as I did when we drank wine under the stars in the Seychelles. It's super cheesy but hey that's just the way it happened.    

See the beauty of the little bits and pieces. 

Constant Moving

Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But they're also what tear you apart - Haruki Murakami

I've been taken out of Southern Kordofan where I am based and awaiting further decisions. There's too much uncertainty and most days I feel unsettled and out of place in this Khartoum space.

With my house possibly looted and burnt, I no longer have my room in Kadugli - a space I have filled with pockets of comfort such as my animal -designed torches, my new guitar and various pieces of items I picked and collected along the way. There's even little white pebbles on the window sill that I took on one of my first field trip. Yes, I have lost a number of items out there. Now 'internally displaced', I live out of one suitcase. Doing so have taught me the simplicity of what I have or do not have.

Moving around for the last (almost) five years has taught me what to leave behind and what to let go. It is never easy. And it's letting go of not tangible items but people and faces and memories and feelings that comes along with it.

I'm certain I've now developed a certain distaste for moving on. There are days it leaves me teary-eyed and emotionally wrecked. I should learned to be less attached to the environment around me. To move on and not to look back. To leave the days and memories of what was where they belonged.  

Lucky

Jason Mraz and Colbie Vaillat - Lucky

I am a late discoverer of Jason Mraz. I have listened to him before but never quite took notice or cared much. Then I came across this song when a friend back home was shared this song on his wedding day (a homemade video no less) and which I thought was very touching and simply beautiful.

Welcome the newest nation - South Sudan

(This picture is taken by an awesome friend MD, currently based in Juba)

As South Sudan celebrates its long-awaited independence from the North, the conflict continues in Darfur and the Nuba Mountains. Congratulations and Happy Birthday South Sudan - I wish with all sincerity and goodness that you and your people deserved a better future, prosperity and happiness. 

The Nuba Mountains - Faces and Places

I miss being in Kadugli and continue to wonder what it's like right now. I miss the faces, the peoples and the days. Rumi writes,"Don't grieve.Anything you lose comes round in another form."

My thoughts and hearts are with the Nuba Mountains.

Dead Sea, Amman

(Picture courtesy of RD)

Let the beauty of what you love be what you do - Rumi