Tuesday 2 February 2010

Stay in touch, post on my Wall

I confessed. When I have time on the internet, I spent a bit more time than I should browsing through the profiles of people I know (or don't know) on Facebook. Most times, I do it to check on what people I know have been up to, which isn't exactly an ideal way of keeping in touch. For most parts, I don't care for more than let's say 10 friends out of my 360 "friends" on FB. And I think that's the way with a LOT of people.

Now, you asked: what is the fucking problem you have? It's not really a problem, just that I am a little disturbed by how social network sites like Facebook, Twitter (do we really want to know what someone is doing at this time and this hour and what's happening later in 2 hours? do we really?), Mutiply among others creates this illusion of a reality that encourages and deceives people to believe that this is an OK way to stay in touch. That it is ALRIGHT and ACCEPTABLE to stay in touch by wall posting. Or throw silly virtual gifts at you. Or whatever application that comes along. Sadly, sometimes I feel like I am one of these millions who do believe that it is fine to stay in touch with people you care via FB wall postings and pokes. I stopped short at that though and absolutely have no patience with those who bombard my account with requests to come join them on fucking Farmville or Mafia Wars.

I am grateful for the fact that there are means to stay in touch no matter where you are and by whatever means, even if it means posting 'Hello' on FB. But I also know how superficial this is. There is no depth beyond that. It's a mere 'hello' and many times it feels cold and far. Lately, I asked a friend whom I know fairly well why I haven't heard from him and he replied that it's a bit hard to stay in touch since I don't get access to FB now that I live in China. Yes, I live behind the Great Firewall but not say... Timbuktu. I don't think that registered very well with him though. Then I thought to myself, what was I expecting? An email perhaps. Even then emails are a touch-and-go, a veneer of intimacy. Nothing more to that. Nothing real to that.

Obviously the way we live today is different. Before we write long letters and snail mail. Today we email. Or sms. Or twitter. Today it is only a click away. Just a click away. Click. The beauty of that click. The simplicity that comes along with it.

But I often miss the sentimental value of writing that letter, when care is taken to express what is being felt. Of having that piece of paper in my hand, the smell of ink and the thoughts that traced the words along with it. I often wander aloud what it would be like when I grow old and to have yellowed dusty notes and letters all tied in a bundle sitting on my lap. It is indeed a very romanticised picture but why shouldn't it be?

This is not a anti-FB rant. I often thought about the things that could have been and perhaps missed them too much. Today I feel like I missed being in touch with real people. People I care about. It is a simple, clear feeling. A feeling of intimacy and closeness. One that I won't quite get by sitting behind the screen and clicking away.