Constant Moving

Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But they're also what tear you apart - Haruki Murakami

I've been taken out of Southern Kordofan where I am based and awaiting further decisions. There's too much uncertainty and most days I feel unsettled and out of place in this Khartoum space.

With my house possibly looted and burnt, I no longer have my room in Kadugli - a space I have filled with pockets of comfort such as my animal -designed torches, my new guitar and various pieces of items I picked and collected along the way. There's even little white pebbles on the window sill that I took on one of my first field trip. Yes, I have lost a number of items out there. Now 'internally displaced', I live out of one suitcase. Doing so have taught me the simplicity of what I have or do not have.

Moving around for the last (almost) five years has taught me what to leave behind and what to let go. It is never easy. And it's letting go of not tangible items but people and faces and memories and feelings that comes along with it.

I'm certain I've now developed a certain distaste for moving on. There are days it leaves me teary-eyed and emotionally wrecked. I should learned to be less attached to the environment around me. To move on and not to look back. To leave the days and memories of what was where they belonged.